Hey guys, new to the site, want to hear your opinions on this, even though I probably know the answer.

In the last year, four of my close friends have taken the plunge, two to each other. Let me tell you it is such a weird feeling watching your buddies getting all married. It seems that I'm the only single one left - even my best friend, a truly unique individual has found a steady girlfriend. So, if you could believe it I'm feeling some pressure even if my friends aren't pressuring me. Sometimes I just don't feel like being the odd man out...they're my friends and all but there are only so many times I can take 2+2+2+1 when going out.

Your thoughts? Thanks!

Hey welcome to the forum!

It's only natural to feel pressure regardless if your friends are pressuring you or not. Everyone around you is pairing up and it's making you feel as if you're singled out. That's pressure enough to think you have to run out and find the first thing with a vagina and claim it as your own. It was actually taking me a while to give this post some thought. Nobody likes to be the fifth wheel. It can be uncomfortable and intimidating. Especially since everything happened within the last year. Thats real quick. But I have a question. Since they all got married, weren't they with their significant others for a time before? You didn't feel pressured into having a relationship then?

Maybe this "unique" friend of yours having a steady girlfriend now is the final nail in the coffin for you now. I would love to know what you mean by unique?

Have you tried dating recently? I'd have to know a little more info to give better advice. But for now, the best I can tell you is this. As time goes on, people move on in different ways. Your friends aren't going to stop being your friends, they just entered a new chapter in their lives. You will get there someday but maybe you aren't really ready at this point. Maybe you're pressuring yourself because you feel like "if they are in relationships why shouldn't I be?" But you need not pressure yourself to rush into a relationship. You're better off playing the field and seeing what you really want in a person. I know it's cliche but haste makes waste. I've seen too many relationships go down the crapper because it was a rushed thing.

Explain to your friends that you are happy for them and everything but you want some time to just hang out with each other. Like a guys night or something. Let them know it's important for you, and for them that they don't let go of their own identity. Not that they have to act like single guys but still....

If you want more advice, I'd be happy to give it just give me more info on whatever and I'll try to answer to the best of my ability.

Thanks for the reply, Rico.

Yeah, the friends that were married were dating, but some were dating through college, where I had no problem getting dates and play. The others dated when I had moved back home. I'm living with my best friend right now, the unique one, and dating is tough right now. You're right with my buddy dating being the last nail in the coffin. Most of the times girls found him too brash and outspoken to go near him. Even cocky. I realize as I'm writing this that may be attractive features to someone of the fairer sex, but my buddy had too much of everything. Now he finds someone and they're serious, and yeah. The thought of moving out is festering, but I have to remember he's my best friend.

I haven't been pressuring myself to rush into a relationship. Tried the whole friends with benefits with one girl but it just didn't work out. Playing the field is difficult for me because I'm not really a small talker Anyway, I'm rambling, and thanks for the words of advice!

Unfortunately, being brash and cocky is what sometimes works. You're pretty much right with that. Now that's not easy for some of us to pull off but it does tend to work. Just most times it doesn't work out in the long run. I'm not really a big fan for friends with benefits thing, only because it has blown up in my face a bunch of times so in a way I learned from my mistakes. I was recently having a little issue with that as a matter of fact. But anyway, thats a different story.
You gotta support your best friend regardless, as long as you know he'd do the same for you in the same situation.
College is a different atmosphere. The opportunities can be endless, it's easier when you're surrounded by prospects all the time. So being back home is a challenge. But it's not all together different. Just because you're not in direct contact with the fairer sex at all times like away at college, there still is plenty of opportunity you just have to keep your eyes open and play the game smart. Just the other day my cousin was telling me a story about how he got some girls number in the produce section of the supermarket. He used this line saying that he just moved out on his own and now he has to do all the shopping and shit by himself and he has no clue how to pick out a vegetable, let alone cook. Well wouldn't you know it but after about 5 minutes of small talk she offered to cook him dinner at her place and give him a cooking lesson. Yes I know that doesn't happen all the time, but the point it you have to make your self seem available at all times. And a lot of times a not caring attitude tends to win over. Thats where being cocky comes into play but it takes practice. I'm sure you know what to do.
Common sense tells us the more we do something we're bound to get something, example, if we are fishing and nothing is biting 9 times out of 10, as long as we keep throwing the line out there, something is bound to bite. Its just the way of the world. I happen to be fortunate (or unfortunate depends on how you look at it) enough to work at a place where I am surrounded by women most of the time. If I were single, I would place the odds against myself. If I hit on 15 - 20 women, one is bound to take the bait. It's frustrating at times, but it does work if you don't let rejection get you down. Sometimes, as a good friend once told me "overconfidence is key" If you act like your overconfident (not obnoxious theres a difference) and are outgoing enough you're going to attract attention. I've seen it happen and work with flying colors.
But if you're real problem is feeling like your losing out on your friends then thats a different issue that can be discussed.
Keep me updated.